User blog:AenMaps/Khanos (2022)

Main Cast: Danny Devito (Khanos, Protagonist), Mark Meechan (Frkon [voice], Ally), Sean Gunn (Frkon [body], Ally, and Rat [body], Minor Antagonist), Natalia Dyer (Agatha, Ally), Sebastian Stan (Neim, Antagonist), Zachary Gordon (Ceplio, Minor Antagonist), Arnold Schwarzenegger (Rat [voice], Minor Antagonist), Dylan O'Brien (Atriun, Minor Antagonist) 

Act One: Khanos wakes up. He’s in an abandoned house, and he can’t find Tape or Ceplio. He walks out, and he sees Ceplio struggling out of a hole, and Tape calling out for Ceplio and Khanos. They all get together and start travelling towards another abandoned house where they decide to spend the night. In the middle of the night, Ceplio wakes up, seeing a mysterious figure watching them through the window. As he walks out, they face each other, saying nothing. Tape wakes up, only to see Ceplio missing and the faint sound of a car driving away in the background. Khanos and Tape are seen driving on a road in Northern Texas. They stop in a bar and asks the people in the bar if they've seen Ceplio, but no one has. Disappointed, Khanos and Tape sit on a bench for a while and wonder if they have to stop their search, but they still continue it in the end. In the evening they stop at a farm. Khanos knocks on the door, but no one opens, so they just go inside themselves. As soon as Tape closes the door, a woman has her gun pointed at Khanos. Khanos tries to explain that they only want to sleep, and nothing else. The woman apologises for her hostility and lets them sleep on the farm. While they prepare for bed, Tape expresses how much she misses Ceplio and she hopes he's not hurt. She also hopes he was forced to go, because if he left on his own without telling her, it would make her feel even worse. Meanwhile, Ceplio meets a rat, who calls himself Rat. They’re at a compound in Washington DC, and Rat tells Ceplio that they both share the same vision and they should work together, since Ceplio has a powerful artefact and Rat is a supergenius. A man walks up to them and tells them Khanos and Tape have been spotted at some woman’s house, and he’s prepared to send all of his men in. However, Ceplio stops him, telling him Khanos and Tape are weak, and he might as well just send in Atriun, the man who initially took Ceplio. Neim reluctantly agrees. The next morning, Khanos wants to leave, but Tape and the woman stops him and tell him she's just making breakfast, so Khanos joins her and Tape. The woman, who's called Agatha, asks what they’re doing, so he tells her they’re searching for a guy named Ceplio. When she asks why, Khanos tells her that Ceplio is kidnapped by some people (he doesn't want to tell the real story). Agatha decides to help Khanos and Tape.

Act Two: Khanos, Tape and Agatha are driving through Texas in a happy mood. In the late afternoon they stop, and eat something. Agatha reveals a secret: she brought beer. They drink all of it and get drunk. They continue driving, even though they are still drunk. Later, when it's dark, Khanos hits something big on the road. It's a big blue owl. The owl starts insulting Khanos in Scottish Gaelic. Khanos apologises and sees that the owl is bleeding. Agatha and Tape quickly bring the owl in the car and Khanos starts driving to a hospital. In the meantime, the owl starts talking. He says his name is Frkon and that he's a Scottish owl, son of the Duolingo bird who abandoned him for making too many racist jokes. Khanos, Tape and Agatha introduce themselves as well. After that, Tape offers to heal Frkon who makes a dumb joke about his injuries being taped. Tape takes that as a sure and heals Frkon while Khanos continues driving. Frkon makes dumb, sarcastic jokes along the way, which annoys Khanos, Tape and Agatha. Meanwhile at the compound, Rat has finished creating blueprints for the weapons and they start production. Neim tells them Atriun has located them at a hospital. Ceplio notes that and secretly tells a covert group he has been contacting to go pick up the package at the hospital as quickly as possible. Not much later, Frkon is done, as the doctor stopped the bleeding. Khanos, Tape and Agatha say goodbye to him and want to go, when Frkon starts to panic. He says that he can't stay alone because then the evil 'Neim' will find him and take him back to his base in Washington DC. Khanos is confused, so Frkon tells him that his father abandoned him and sent him to Neim. According to Frkon, Neim has many people and animals in his basement, for example a talking Rat, an African guy who constantly tries to hurt himself and worships a god named GGG, and a guy with a powerful burrito. Khanos understands the last one is Ceplio, so he tells Frkon to go with him and bring them to Neim, but Frkon doesn't wanna go. They argue a bit, when suddenly a man points his gun at Khanos: it's Atriun. He tries to convince him to join Neim, but Agatha, Tape and Frkon tell him not to listen. Eventually, Agatha takes a knife and stabs Atriun in his knee. Atriun gets even angrier and shoots Tape in the knee, and then points his gun to Agatha while he asks Khanos to join again. Khanos says nothing, so Atriun kills Agatha. Khanos now gets blinded by anger, jumps on Atriun's back and takes his gun. After that he shoots him with all the bullets he has. Suddenly, a big car pulls up, picking Tape up, throwing her into the car, and then driving off. Then, the police arrives and tells Khanos to drop the gun. Frkon suddenly spits in the eye of an officer, so the two start to run. They get in the car and quickly drive away, with the police chasing them. Khanos suddenly drives into the desert, so the police stop their hunt, being sure Khanos and Frkon won't survive it in there. The two drive through the desert until it gets dark and then go to sleep. The next morning, the car is stuck in the sand. Khanos sees no option but to fly on Frkon's back to Washington DC, but Frkon is afraid to fall down. Khanos forces Frkon to take him on his back. Frkon flies up, but he's very unstable with Khanos on his back, so he crashes into the sand after a while. The only option left for the two is to just walk. Meanwhile, Tape wakes up in a house in the middle of nowhere. As she’s waking up, Ceplio goes to her and asks her if she’s alright. She’s confused, and Ceplio tells her that he has hidden her in a safehouse away from everyone so that she stays safe, because he cares about her. She tries to escape so he drugs her and then leaves her there, getting in a car and heading back towards the compound. After some hours, Khanos and Frkon see a truck. They call for help, so the truck stops. The driver points his gun at the two, tie them with a lead and bring them to the back of the truck, where many more people are. Khanos hopes this truck will bring them to Washington DC, so he can escape, but Frkon immediately wants to escape. Together with two other people he decides to escape as soon as the driver stops. Not much later, the driver stops to go pee, so Frkon and the two others escape. Khanos is now alone, but doesn't give up.

Act Three: After some days, the truck arrives in Washington DC, where it stops. The driver takes Khanos and the other prisoners to a Romanian man and sells them to him. The Romanian takes everyone inside and locks them up in a huge basement. Meanwhile, Neim and his advisors surround a map of the United States, meticulously preparing something, when one of his men walks in with the body of Atriun. Neim, steely-eyed, asks who killed him. The man says it was an old man with an owl. Neim recognises the description, going down to his basement and finds Khanos. His men tie Khanos up and start bringing him to the interrogation room upstairs, when Khanos recognises Ceplio with a rat on the first floor. He calls to Ceplio, but Ceplio ignores him. Khanos sees a large number of powerful weapons, recognising the energy of the Time Burrito emanating from all of them, and realises that Ceplio has been working with Neim to produce these weapons. It was all part of Ceplio’s plan to save America, one Ceplio mentioned before they travelled back in time. Khanos is forced into the interrogation room, where Neim smashes his face against the wall and injects him with a hallucinogen that makes him incredibly suggestible. He reveals that he has been working with an Owl to rescue Ceplio, but now he realises that Ceplio has been brainwashed by Neim into whatever evil plan Neim was concocting. Neim laughs, telling Khanos that Ceplio willingly decided to work with Neim after Neim told him what they could achieve together, and that Khanos would simply hold him back. Neim then left Khanos with his men as they started to torture him, payback for the murder of Atriun. As Khanos sits there in excruciating pain, electrodes stuck to his nipples, the power suddenly turns off. In the darkness, Khanos headbutts a man and uses him as a meatshield while he unties himself and shoots the two men in the room, before escaping the interrogation room. Neim, Ceplio, and the rat are informed that a large mob led by a big weird looking owl are approaching the compound, and they’re heavily armed. They start to exchange gunfire with Neim’s men, while a few sneak around the back and place a few key explosives, creating a hole in the wall and allowing everyone to escape. Frkon flies in through a window to start searching for Khanos. Khanos sees Frkon but before he can call his name, he’s knocked down by a man with a lead pipe. It’s Ceplio and the rat. Ceplio tells the rat (who’s name, apparently, is “Rat”) to start moving everything onto the trucks so they can rendezvous with The Lady while he deals with Khanos. Khanos asks him why he betrayed Khanos, and Ceplio reveals that he knows that Neim is a bad person, and the men he employs are thugs, but he has to accrue power before he can turn on Neim and stop them from threatening his position. That way, Ceplio can remould America in his image, in a way that stops liberalism from spreading forever, nipping it at the bud. Suddenly, Frkon attacks Ceplio, scratching him, before Khanos stops him, telling Frkon to let Ceplio go. They need to find Neim and kill him to stop part of this madness. Ceplio and Rat escape on one of the trucks taking his weapons, but just as the last truck is leaving, Frkon glides in and slashes the tires, immobilising it. Neim gets out with a large gun when Khanos and Frkon emerge from the building. As he aims his gun, the police surround him and he drops his gun and is arrested by the police. Khanos thanks Frkon while they fly away to the coast, where they stop. Khanos tells Frkon that he still needs to find Ceplio, and Frkon tells him he needs to do other things, such as visiting his grandma who lives in Florida. Khanos and Frkon say goodbye to each other, and Frkon flies away. Post Credits Scene 1: Khanos is sitting inside a Bungalow at the beach and listens to the radio. Suddenly, he hears that Hoover has been killed by a young man and a big Rat.

Post Credits Scene 2: Frkon arrives in Florida, at the house of his grandma. He tells some jokes, but grandma tells him to shut up and go with her. They walk to the garden, where grandma created a shooting range. She gives Frkon a gun and he starts shooting everywhere while the 'Murica, Fuck yeah' song plays.

Property of Jacobin Incorporated.