User blog:EthanConquistador/The Best Joke I ever typed (lolol)

Similar plotlines (such as Man 3 trying to destroy inventions, exploration and science and so on) except the fire part and some parts later on. But I think it's offensive to some... But at least I give it try.

100000 BCE
Caveman 1: Me find something.

Caveman 2: What thing?

Caveman 1: Me invent fire.

Caveman 2: What is fire?

Caveman 1: It burn.

Caveman 2: Ah, fire.

10000 BCE
Caveman 1: We develop language.

Caveman 2: What thing?

Caveman 1: We invent wheel and thing. But we invent language!

Caveman 2: What is language?

Caveman 1: Me test. (language switched on) I am the best person in the world!

Caveman 3: You not! Destroy him! He no make sense!

Caveman 2: Stop!

Caveman 1: (gets bashed by stone age people)

8000 BCE
Inventor of Agriculture: Yay, I've invented Agriculture!

Hunter: What is Agriculture?

Inventor of Agriculture: I just find some wheat things and I took their seeds off and plant them!

Hunter: Really?

Inventor of Agriculture: Instead of foraging berries or hunt animals, we shall harvest our own!

Hunter: Fine, give me a second. (becomes a farmer) Does that sound good?

Inventor of Agriculture: Y-eeeeaaahhhh....

4000 BCE
Man 1: I just invent pottery!

Man 2: Really?

Man 1: Yes, its the pot!

Man 2: What are you using it for?

Man 1: Fill in with water or any sort of stuff.

Man 3: He made an ugly work! Seize him!

Militia: What are you doing anyway...

Man 1: HELP ME! (gets bashed by Militia)

3200 BCE
Man 1: Yay, I made our own writing!

Man 2: Ugh, not this again... What is writing anyway?

Man 1: It's where alphabet and our scripts been worked all together, it comes with a good sente-...

Man 2: Um, what is the word again?

Man 1: Senten... Ah, forget it.

Man 3: Get him!

Man 1: Ah, not again, I invented this work and now you're messing it up?

Man 3: Yes.

Militia 1: I'm... Tired of seizing him...

800 BCE-600 BCE
Greek Philosopher: I found out that the Earth is in the centre!

Man 2: Why... Why is it always this... What is astronomanie anyway?

Greek Philosopher: You mean astronomy. Well, I noticed that the nebu-... Nebil-....

Man 2: Okay, forget it!

Man 3: Always the shame works! Spartans capture this guy!

Spartan Soldier: Yes sir!

Greek Philosopher: Why is it always the hostile Spartans? (gets captured)

300-250 BCE
Archimedes: EUREKA!

Man 2: This stupid lame thing again? Why am I always involved...

Archimedes: The water can be raised by heaving a larger object or something in it!

Man 2: Man, I'm getting bored...

Man 3: (opens door), you... SEIZE HIM!

Greek Militia: Fine, I'll seize him.

Man 2: Wha?

230-100 BCE
Eratosthenes: PRIME NUMBERS!

Man 2: Not that stupid thing again... What is it?

Eratosthenes: I just found out that the prime numbers are 2, 3, 5 and 7!

Man 2: Hurray... You made up the mathematics.

Man 3: Man, you made your waste into a math!? Seize him!

Man 2: Stop this! I had enough!

Man 3: You know I'll capture every inventor of greece and the Mediterrean! SEIZE HIM!

Militia: Why do I always get involved? Alright, I'll seize him.

100 BCE-50 BCE
Maya 1: We Mayans have invented our own calendar!

Maya 2: What?

Maya 1: Yeah, the b'ak'tun.

Maya 3: This is stupid! Seize him!

Guards of the Leader: Fine.

Maya 3: AND TAKE HIM TO DEATH!

930 CE
Man 1: We invented numerals than stupid Roman ones!

Man 2: I know, look at our names, we have them!

Man 1: Arabic Numbers is common in today, so it goes 1, 2, 3 instead of I, II, III!

Man 2: Yay! I wonder if you did it in the ground or in a nomad terriet- teri-....

Man 1: Sadly, no. I did it in the city or somewhere...

Man 3: Not this stupid maths! SEIZE HIM GUARDS!

Man 1: But I was- (bashed)

Guards: Take him to the bad territory, they'll show him.

1054 CE
Man 1: I saw that the star is dying and made some weird milky thing.

Man 2: Ugh... Now you are talking about this.

Man 1: Am I a genius, look at it! At your eye!

Man 2: Yes! I'm trying!

Man 1: See that thing? It's beautiful! And plus, Europe didn't recongised that because they were busily fighting along!

Man 3: (in the bottom and shouted) HEY! WHY ARE YOU OBSERVING THE BLANK? ATTACK GUARDS!

Guard 1: Should we do it?

Guard 2: We think that guy wanted to kill him anyway...

Man 2: What are you guys doing?

Guard 2: We're taking the astronomer, the guy told us.

Man 1: But-

Guard 2: Take him to the emperor. AND NO BUTS!

Man 1: Fine.

1363 CE
Scientist (whoever he is): I'VE FINISHED THE CURE FOR THE YESTINA PESTIS! (really the cure is not real, sort of)

Man 2: (coughs) Are you sure? (coughs) I'm dying...

Scientist: I might try to but the long nose thing.

Man 2: (coughs) Really... I'm a peasant... (coughs) I am poor... (coughs) and I'm dying. Please (coughs) give me the cure (coughs) so I can (coughs) live on.

Scientist: Fine, but the king doesn't know this yet. (sharp knife)

Man 2: Not the! NOT THE! AHHHHHHHH! (dead)

Scientist: Well, that was close.

1470-1485 CE
Leonardo da Vinci: I've invented the concept!

Man 2: Ugh, why am I bothering... Really? What is it?

Leonardo da Vinci: I drew some concepts from the birds and I made it!

Man 3: This guy is bothering me so much... Can... You seize him?

Man 2: BET NOT! GUARDS!

Guard: What do you want, sir?

Man 2: Um...

Man 3: SEIZE HIM!

Guard: Yes sir!

Leonardo da Vinci: I was not- I'm sorry for this concept, I promise not to do this ever again.

Guard: (holds down weapon) Alright. Sorry, that was a false alarm.

Leonardo da Vinci: I am a genius!

1492 CE
Columbus: I think the world is small then.

Isabella I: But my advisors said the world is bigger.

Columbus: Whatever, just give me a ship, now.

Isabella I: Fine...

Columbus: HURRAY!

(5-12 years later)

Columbus: I've just returned, I found out there are some weird animals here. The people are Indians....

Man 2: What? But-

Columbus: I've mapped the Indies, just look at it!

Man 2: Amazing!

Man 3: No! I MUST LEND ALL OF THE GUARDS TO EXECUTE HIM!

Columbus: For what?

Man 3: For lying. India is in Asia, not America!

Columbus: Oh man... (executed)

(later)

Waldseemuller: Instead of been Asia (which Columbus accidentally named the natives as Indians), I'm naming that continent America on my map. HEHEHE...

1628-1630
Man 2: I've just got an assistance to a doctor.

William Harvey: Ah, there you are. Here is the battle, it's coming soon.

Man 2: I hope it's not bloody.

General (Man 3): ATTACK!

Soldiers: (fights all along, some got its arms cut by a melee weapon)

Harvey: Here is the blood on the arms.

Man 2: Eugh... Too disgusting...

Harvey: Veins, this is the best thing ever!

Man 2: Maybe I should leave.... (walks away before he got killed)

1632
Galileo: I just think the earth orbits the sun not the centre.

Man 2: Not the stupid show... But anyway, why?

Galileo: The sun is the centre of our system not Earth, because we aren't the centre of the Universe.

Man 3: Man, someone violating the terms! INQUISITATION!

Galileo: But I was protecting Coperni- (gets captured)

Man 3: You are under house arrest, you have to stay in your house and die!

Galileo: Fine.

1687-1690
Isaac Newton: Yay, I made the new physic rules!

Man 2: I me- Why did you change it?

Isaac Newton: Because the motions in the past is a bit wrong so I changed it a bit.

Man 2: (silent)

Newton: W-

Man 2: Never mind. (walks away)

Newton: (cries)

1792
Man 1: I invented new lamps!

Man 2: The streetlamps? Oh, its pretty good anyway.

Man 1: Because you may see the dark a few years ago because at night, it's pretty frightening to me.

Man 2: Then?

Man 1: So I made an invention like this.

Man 3: No! NO MORE! I AM ASKING THE MEN TO DESTROY YOU!

Man 1: Wh- (bashes)

Man 3: How do you like that!

Man 1: I-... will stop that...

Man 3: Good.

1842
Man 1: Sir, I would know that a biologist named Richard Owen is naming that fossil thing called 'Dinosaur'.

Man 2: But I do- What is that?

Man 1: It seemed that he wants to call those creatures as 'Dinosaurs'.

Man 2: Um?

Man 3: Hold on! I don't believe dinosaurs! Creationism is real! GUARDS! SEIZE HIM!

Guard: Ugh... I'm sick of this... What do you want?

Man 3: I WANT YOU TO DESTROY ANYONE WHO FOUNDED FOSSILS! NOW!

Guard: Yes... sir...

(few months later)

Guard: (killed the last person who founded fossils) I'm tired. (sits on a rock) Wh-? What is this?

1859?
Darwin: I shall travel all over the world for the origins!

Man 2: ...

Darwin: What are you doing?

Man 2: Uh... Just curious.

Darwin: Okay..

Man 3: SEIZE... HIM... Man I'm tired of this...

Man 2: Really... I'm sick of this all of that too.

Man 3: Yeah... Let's negotiate.

Man 2: Agreed. Until we get our energy back.

Darwin: I guess it's time for embark. You can come along.

Man 2 and 3: Yes... I'm bored...

(ship sailed away)

Guard: Oh....

1869
Man 1: Guess what, the Suez Canal is now opened! Now we can sail quicker from India to get the trade quick!

Man 2: I guess it's new.

Man 1: Our constructors are finishing! And we're so happy! After all of the long work, from years and years...

Man 2: Woah, that's tired.

Man 3: Really? It's wonderful then.

1876-1877
Alexander Graham Bell: Invented the telephone! Let's test!

Assistant: Yes! (walks into another room)

Alexander: Ahoy-hoy! (i don't know but simply imagine its hello)

Assistant: Hello!

Man 2: (makes a small wire to him)

Assistant: Who did that?

Man 2: Guten tag.

Alexander: Who are you?

Man 2: I am a man.

Man 3: (takes another wire)

Man 3: Hello.

Alexander: Who are you?

Man 3: I WILL SEIZE YOU! MWHAHAH! FOR MAKING ZE INVENTION!

Guard: (puts another wire also) What do you want?

Man 3: SEIZE HIM!

1903
Wright Brothers: We are the first! MWAHAH!

News: Americans invent the first plane ever.

Man 2: The newspaper is true! Hurray, hey look, take a look at this.

Various early aviators: They stole our true inventions! These stupid brothers, we are not recgonised by everyone...

Man 2: So what?

Various: ....

Man 2: Okay...

1969
Neil Armstrong: We take one small step.

Buzz Aldrin: We are successful, let's plant a flag.

Armstrong: Okay.

Man 3: I am a Soviet. A lost soviet, can I join in?

Armstrong: No....

Man 3: Ugh... I can't understand, no guards... I guess, I have to die. AND MAKE SURE, THE SOVIETS WILL SEIZE YOU!

FUTURE
Always never get seized by Man 3. Said the guy who posed in a stupid way.

We come too far against it.

Let's donate money against Man 3, we shall make inventions change the world.

Donate five dollars and you get a badge.

Donate ten dollars and you get the email newsletter and a badge.

Donate twenty dollars and you can have a poster that is about 5'2" and have a newsletter.

Donate twenty-five dollars and you get to be in the credits for the movie called "Inventions Rise" and get those prizes from a poster that is 10 feet.

Donate fifty dollars and you can receive a small part of a weapon and all of these prizes above.

Donate hundred dollars and you can get a message for a thank you for participating the anti-destruction. You also get a USB that contains 32GB and prizes above.

Donate two hundred dollars and you can get a design for a weapon that you want.

Donate around a thousand and we can get a celebration!