User blog:RuleGermania13/I don't have a title for this but it's one to read (maybe)

Edit: Don't pay attention to title. Can't edit it for some reason. Anyway, let me start off by saying that mapping has been fun for me, and I've loved doing it for the past 4-5ish years on and off. But as General Leia said in 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi', "The spark.....is out". I say that because I can't get back into it, no matter how hard I try. I get ideas that are flushed out and I can't find it. I know that you might think I'm quitting, but you are wrong, because I won't give up on something that made me part of a group that I felt like I was part of, no matter how obvious it may seem that I am quitting, but I am not. Sure, I won't post a video like every day, heck every week, but it won't be like once a year or something. Now I do know that many people don't even do it anymore. I also know that I've been absent from this wiki for a VERY VERY long time. I did stay away because a lot of the people on this wiki hated me, and maybe they still do, but that's okay. I forgive them for hating me for my actions. But I've come to face the facts that I've done many things wrong and have deserved my punishments. Losing many subs, losing many great friends, losing the ability to find happiness in my videos, my self, and period. I may be on here every blue moon, but it's time for me to move on, as it is and will be for many others on this wiki. All I can say for that is, I'm sorry for everything I've done to everyone. Everyone here (that's been here since 2015 and before-ish) has something bad to say about me or has something to say that I've done. Maybe they've told the new people stories about Tacosia: The Guy That Everyone Hates. To that, I know I did wrong, and I accept that everyone hates me. Heck, pretty much everyone I know hate me for how I am and what I do. But I've tried to change, but unfortunately everyone says I haven't and never will. Heck, I've lost two friends that I was really close to for the things that I've done. First, Dylan's World, who I've wronged a whole bunch in one sitting, and second, Polandball421 or Liam, which I've wronged countless times and in a huge chunk every time. Now the latter won't even look at me or speak to me anymore for the pain I've caused. I know that I may do it in the future, but I will do my best. Sorry for making you watch my rant, but if you've made it this far by chance....Thank you for watching me cry like a little baby.

- RuleGermania

If you didn't understand this, I'm not quitting. Just won't upload that often. Okay? Got it? No? Just comment or message me and I'll help you better understand.