Tuvalu Ulterior

-Czech Ulterio Tuvalu Tuvalu Ulterior Dependent and part of Taiwan (Utuval Rulterio in tuvalí cult ○ ⌡ịvΰð ≠ ≠ ịð⌡ћ ţΔ in tuvalí vulgar.) Is an island and a country, as well as an accident (non-geographic) in the north Pacific, located between the United Foes of Micronesia and the Indian Ocean. Its current capital is Ukelele.

It is a country located in Oceania, and like most of them abundant pequeñismo. It has become a world power and occupies all a giant island, which is commonly called AISL Egigant, despite having an area of ​​10,000 km2 / 500 and since 1980, belongs to the Pauper of Andorra Empire. (Although they are to become independent) live they surrounded by sea and not limited to any territory, only with water and more water. and according to the Constitution R'po S'mi S'cojone of Tuvalu, the official language is Tuvalí (or Ítuval) and only 99.99% of the population speaks ill, the other 0.01% can not speak. According to the GDP (Gross Infernal Product), the world economy of Tuvalu is in the 183 (the end of the entire list), and that is because Uncle2.jpg, the current president, spent all in beauty products in a attempt to be the leading man of the year. This country is famous for characters appearing on international lists as former President Uncle1.jpg, the famous Mula Francis, and the horrific women who have participated or won the Aseñorit D'fealda for 40 consecutive years.

Here the major attacks have occurred in the history of the Islamic empire reaching kill 200 times more people than those killed on 9/11 (in other words DOUBLE are 2 times ... so imagine 200 times).

Tuvalu Ulterior has their own airline the Tuvairline (The most secure Airline).

Prehistory, Early History and Old Age.
In prehistoric times in this place existed a civilization called Homo sexus, had the distinction of going out with his brothers, as if you were dating a girl you murdered (that does not follow the moral and ancient customs). They lived in the present city of Resaka, but years later began to move, because they did not like the atmosphere of rocks. There, these first inhabitants behaved as stupid, as only dedicated to eat and shit ™, making the mistake sometimes mixing the two actions.

This island was discovered by civilized countries by the year 1598, by the French Enlightenment sweeper Jaques Cartier, and named Golden Island, because it was endowed with a unique mineral in its kind the Patoro, which was worth a lot, so to get it in large quantities and become richer than he himself King of Spain, killed all, robbed the mineral and went home. The island was deserted, Jaques died by a giant sea monster that was in the sea Tuvaluano home.

After years of neglect, the colony come the first new inhabitants, according to written come from Spain. The oldest known is natam Tuvalu Ulterior, who only had a palm leaf as short. He reached the shores fleeing a shark and lived only eating fruits turn knowing the strange animal species. Thanks to him and his head hit the Tuvalí language, based on the Spanish was created. Then years later came Lyeba, a slave girl who ran away from a pirate ship. After meeting, they fell in love and married. But everything changed when natam died because of an apple.

But sex endless emerged with fruit, and that means thousands of children and repopulation of the place. The first cities like Bikini were you throw to home base built with mud.

Middle Ages.
The average age came when the first king, King Mondo, Mondo built the castle located in Bikini. His hand was hard and punish anyone who will call it the way it is (King Mondo, Mondo King, His Majesty, etc.), but it was not cutting heads, if not that punishment was sexual, knights puntita table, they could abuse sinners.

the first church Pastafari, with the first papacy initiated by Pope Noes was created. The cathedral, built with bricks slaves and poor quality (not what they believe, not slaves built, if they were cement), he served as a symbol of pasta for many years. the historic festival meatballs, where everyone wore the traditional Acolader, a hat with holes was created.

Modern Age.
In 1660, there comes a game of British from India willing to violate every woman and living as wild animals civilize region, come to make war against the Tuvaluan. England won the war and the country's name was changed to Obenglafod.

As it was logical, from 1665-1890 England abuse of women in Tuvalu (called Bitches) and the other inhabitants. In 1890 receives independence, freaked the English with odorous farts in the revolution imposed by Saseoso O'ped him and promulgate its first constitution, the name is changed again to Tuvalu Ulterior. In 1891, Tuvalu divides the state into three Zonquejos, called Kelloggs, Plastic and Kelbo and the first president who was L'manue Tuvaluano O'melan that lasted many years in office appears.

Contemporary age.
In 1934 they begin to appear new Zonquejos, Mekago, moflete and Elado. At the beginning of World War II, Tuvalu Ulterior allied with Spain and everything passes through the lining, after starting the bloody conflict with the chiquitistaní state. At the end of the war, Tuvalu was one of the governments that provided more help to the German people, because it was the only one who did not send troops to loot the houses left standing.

2nd World War.
In 1939 World War II broke out around the world with the invasion of Nazi Germany into Poland. King Josemirto I, to show his solidarity with the unjustly attacked Polish people, sent a battalion of 15 Cyclists armed with stones and two barrels filled with feces as logistical support for Poland. He also organized various political events to show his solidarity, as the one in which he symbolically signed a pact by which Tuvalu Ulterior became a region of Poland. Three days after that act, Germany and the Soviet Union conquered Poland and divided its territory. While they are in the process, they discover that Tuvalu Ulterior was formally now a territory of Poland to be annexed, and after lengthy negotiations Nazi Germany completely annexed the territories of Tuvalu Later, after declaring Stalin: "Tuvalu Ulterior? that?".

After the annexation of Tuvalu Later, the Tuvaluans quickly become Nazis because, thanks to Germany, they are now technically part of Europe. The illusion would disappear quickly when, only 5 days later, Nazi Germany declares its independence of the Nazi Germany that owns the territory of Tuvalu Later, reason why Tuvalu Ulterior would continue being called officially "Nazi Germany", whereas the Nazi Germany Of Hitler happened to be called "Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior".

The Tuvaluans were disappointed to have lost the possibility that a few years later the European countries decided to form a union and they could be part of it, so they changed their name again to Tuvalu Later (to be more accepted among other countries in Europe, and But the newly restored Josemirto I, now called Josemirto II because the Tuvaluans did not remember his face, left statements that seem to explain the choice of Norway: Well, they are a long way off, and I do not think they know who we are. If I send someone more or less normal, they may have a better impression of us and join us. "

Astonished by the expansionist philosophy of Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior without Tuvalu Ulterior, and also admiring a closer neighbor, the Empire of Japan, which also had a similar expansionist philosophy, Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior (ie Tuvalu Later ), Under the command of Josemirto III (which was the same as Josemirto II, but this time it happened because he himself did not know that Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior was the same country as Tuvalu Ulterior, and thought it was another country casually situated in The very site of a king named Josemirto II in the past), decided to begin his own expansionist policy, choosing the island of Tuburu, south of Papua New Guinea as its first annexation. In his first mission, Josemirto III commanded a squadron of 33 cyclists who would cross the Indian Ocean to the island. For reasons not yet understood today, the mission failed, as 32 cyclists died drowned and a thirty-third was devoured by a dolphin-shark. To cover this military embarrassment and rebuild the honor of his army, Josemirto III assembled a squad of 7 canoeists, who this time managed to reach the island of Tuburu, where they bombed the local population with meatballs too overdone (this surplus of meatballs too Made is due to a traditional Tuvaluan dish: put things at random in the pan and go to watch TV until the advertising is finished. Meatballs are usually chosen because making a ball with meat is not difficult, and is usually the maximum expression Of the intellectual potential of the inhabitants of Tuvalu Ulterior). The Tuburans responded to this attack by stoning (with real stones) the 7 canoeists of the Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior, which did not kill any but it wounded their honor and, after an attack of shame, they exiled in Antigua and Barbuda, Where one of them changed his name to Hans.

During the next Years, Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior offered on numerous occasions an alliance to Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior without Tuvalu Ulterior, which were continuously rejected, until one day near April 30, 1945 another fellow, this time Of Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Later without Tuvalu Later, accidentally accepted the alliance and both countries united in the Union of Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior without Tuvalu Ulterior and Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Ulterior. Days later, Germany lost the war and was occupied by allied countries. The union was dissolved in two countries: the Union of Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Later without Tuvalu Later and Nazi Germany without Tuvalu Later, without Tuvalu Later in Europe, and Tuvalu Later in Tuvalu Later, and subsequently later Tuvalu was occupied by allies, Being divided into proportional parts between them. As with Berlin, the capital Ukelele was also divided between the Allied countries, and the famous Ukelele Wall was built, with a special cement invented by the well-known inventor of Tuvaluan Manglano Nombrestúpido, which was exactly like normal cement but it took 15 times more to dry. During the night of the first day of occupation, a storm broke out in Ukelele destroying the wall, which caused Tuvalu Ulterior to reunite and declare its independence from the allies. Its independence was granted for the laziness of sending someone there to prevent it, and Tuvalu Ulterior celebrated it by declaring unitarily a pact of dependence of Japan, being formally called "Dependent Republic of the Later Tuvalu". As a sign of support for Japan, Josemirto IV (who, surprisingly, was the same as Josemirto III), sent 15 canoeists to the coasts of Taiwan to ensure that this region remained faithful to Japanese interests.

On August 1, 1945 the Japanese Empire surrendered, and became occupied by the United States. As it was necessary, the Dependent Republic of the Later Tuvalu was also occupied, and its territories obtained by confista (a hostel-bunker in Taiwan), confiscated. After Taiwan refused to annex the Tuvaluan hostel to its territory, Tuvalu Ulterior formally annexed that 331 m2 of territory, and was officially renamed "Dependent Republic of Tuvalu Later and part of Taiwan." After 25 minutes of occupation, the United States declared its Independence of the United States occupying the Dependent Republic of the Later Tuvalu and part of Taiwan, founding a new identical country that would call the United States without Tuvalu Later. 14 minutes later, the United States without Tuvalu Ulterior and the United States occupying the Dependent Republic of the Later Tuvalu and part of Taiwan agreed to rename themselves as "United States" and "Dependent Republic of Tuvalu Later and part of Taiwan" respectively, and to pretend That such an incident had never occurred. Josemiro IV returned to power, this time as Josemiro V, and the Tuvaluans returned to their daily wants.

End of 20th century.
By the 1980s and the mid-1990s, Tuvalu was governed by military president Gergobel Rozo, who initiated a socialist economy policy, this resulted in the beginning, but the thing changed with plans against evil, to lower crime, price Of the house and any other evil spent the national treasure in more police, real estate and assistance, but that caused millions to be spent per year, over the law of assorted candies makes it mandatory to spend more than ten thousand in candy each year. This was the trigger for the Tuvalis to take to the streets of the old capital, Plastic. Taking advantage of the disorder, the Angorra Command, commanded by General Mula Francis, took the government palace and made the Tuvalu Ulterior one more region of Andorra.

But this was not well accepted by the Tuvalis, who again manifested themselves in the capital, which produced a continuous gasification of odors, which produced the abandonment of the city and the consequent letter of freedom on the part of Andorra.

Rozo, could not handle the country to his own egomaniacal and called elections, the old N'opresió Led S'paí (the famous Nolepai) won with majority. And it received the presidential band Mam Erto, its policies were pornographic, reopened the brothels and fomented the purchase of sexual videos, lasted until 2007, when its legacy finished

After several bloody decades fighting for acceptance and dignified treatment without aesthetic discrimination, the revolutionary guerrilla for the rights of the aesthetic disabled, Uncle1.jpg; Gathered his armies and followers in the city of Uncle Grad (his name before the battle was Bitchleka), and on the grounds surrounding the fierce battle between the Ertp government, together they formed the Opartid Uncle Aesperanz (OTA, struggling to end With discrimination). Mam took his soldiers, but there was a problem were chaste and that was the opportunity for Uncle1 to overthrow him. In rendering Erto in 2007, elections were called, where the Ogrup Oarmad Oorganizad (the triple O) and the OTA participated, by 90% of approval, won the OTA and began the government of Uncle1.jpg which was based on human rights And helps society.

21th Century.
In October 2007, a catastrophe plunged into the oceanic Andean country, its president for 2 weeks, was killed by natural causes. This incident caused riots in most of the cities of the country (in 2 of the three cities that there are, therefore, majority) and dozens of injured.

Days later, his vice president, Uncle2.jpg, called elections, where he won the Goat anti-rape party with his candidate Pedro Pastafarra, but the pressures were many and he failed to take the country forward, so Uncle2 made a coup Political-social-military state and declared himself president by means of a written referendum of his own hand (he does not have fingers, so he has to write with his fist), which dictated the following: I am president ... or I shit about everything!

Although the presidency or presidency of Uncle2.jpg began not without controversy, for its possible participation in the death of Uncle1.jpg, its predecessor, the rapid response of the new leader, in the form of publication of an institutional communiqué, along with the Deployment of troops and curfew throughout the country and suburbs, very soon succeeded in stifling the revolt and silencing the opinions contrary to his person.

However, a few days after coming to power, the Tuvalí people revolted against the new leader and on November 3, 2007 began a long-awaited Tuvalí Civil War that in principle would be held every Saturday for agenda conveniences. The war began with great force, killing only in the first day more than 100 million Tuvalu brothers, according to the Ministry of Demography and "25.3 people or so," according to the organizers. However, the closeness of the holiday season first and laziness later, made the war indefinitely postponed "for next Saturday" and today the old contenders prefer not to talk about it.

After the indefinite suspension of hostilities, Uncle2.jpg has "gone through the wall to its enemies page" and started a tight agenda of counter measures, with special emphasis on the most un popular. Uncle2.jpg has proven to be, despite the initial doubts, a charismatic leader, who has very soon known to impose a new style of government, perhaps something more energetic than that of his predecessor. The Tuvalu Vomit people worship their leader by decree and in fact refer to him as "Uncle2.jpg" the usurper son of a bitch "The Handsome".

Government and Politics.
Tuvalu is a constitutional monarchy sometimes guarded. violating anti-goats in 1982 this constitution was approved after a hard slam dunk contest between party leaders and pro-goats violating the Party.

Under the constitution the chief executive tuvalí is the PEDETE, or President of the United (Epedet, l'Epresident of Orein). Below are the ministers (s'ministr) and counselors (s'consejero) do not send much, but make lump. Actually the most influential in the shadow of Pedete charges are the people who hold the positions of R'muje and A'suegr no possible translation into Spanish.

International relations.
The main commercial ally of Tuvalu is Stupidistán, with whom it exchanges whores and slaves for money.

Tuvalu Ulterior maintains good relations with Russia and the Asian countries, although none of them recognizes the existence of Tuvalú Ulterior, and only China its sovereignty. Tuvalu has carried out military practices along with Russia and the URSC. Uncle2.jpg, although not an official member of this organization, has even made verbal attacks on the United States. This has caused the gringos to include Tuvalu Ulterior in the "axis of evil", but the CIA has not been able to give them a coup due to not finding Tuvalu Ulterior in Google Earth.

Tuvalu Ulterior has also had recent talks with Colombia over his recent withdrawal from "The Hague". Juan Manuel Santos also made trips to this area for talks with Uncle2.jpg and our beloved former president Alvaro Uribe Balas with his encouraging speeches as well as campaigning for his possible candidacy as the new king-emperor of Tuvalu. Unconfirmed data testify that Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega has given informal speeches saying that "Tuvalu should sue its neighbors because they do not have enough sea, enough land, and even if it is not for you to sue Iraq for oil, sue everybody!". Unfortunately after this he learned that Tuvalu does not belong to "The Hague" because it is a dependent state and by its fault also Iraq declared the war to Tuvalu.

Geography.
The total area of ​​Tuvalu Ulterior, having its overseas territories, Australia and Eurasia is 28,987,213 km2, and its population is about 12,000,000 approximately, although this figure is not accurate, because the high rate of hangings modifies ingentemente the population.

There are high elevations, such as Mt. Cabrón, 2100 Tbm (Tuvalumetros), where the obsevatorio of Cristoperdióelmechero, one of the largest in the universal world is located. The famous steppe tuvalí is situated in the center of the island, forming a cozy and tropicosiberiano current climate. In the western part of the country are enriched plutonium reserves, which give the area a very nice green aspect, which many times has caused accidental deaths.

Climate
With average temperatures of 30 ° Celsius, Tuvalu Ulterior is a very hot region, except in the afternoon springs, in which the thermometers reach -36 ° below zero under all conditions. The diversity of climates on cauliflower island is evident, for while in the center and the coast there is steppe, in the north there are perpetual snows at sea level, and in the south there is absolutely nothing, nothing really, All disappeared during the swim of 1931, in which something swallowed much of the space-time of the island.

This island has an average annual precipitation of 3 mm, producing green prairies and orange fires almost continuously, as another of the Tuvalu traditions is to throw glasses to the fields during the day of Mollera Tsotaad, to open the closed fields of the prairies.

Demography.
Tuvalí authentic race (black above, white below) constitutes 56% of the population of the island. The largest group of foreigners is made, of course, Andorrans, who constitute 39%. The remaining 5% consists of amorphous hybrid drawn from government failed experiments. Although the largest group are the pigs.

The exact population is 4.000'000.000'000.000'000.001 inhabitants according to the 2005 census, which had a margin of error of 87%.

Population: 12,213,887. Men 3% Women 18% Martians and other entities / beings 80%.
 * 0-14: 2%.
 * 14-64: 88%.
 * +65: 8%.
 * +189: 2%.

Language.
The most widely spoken language in Tuvalu is the Tuvalo, or Tuvali, in both its variants, the cultured and the vulgar, although the latter is preferred.

Although the Tuvalo or tuvalí (ítuval or otuval in Tuvalu) is the official language, other languages ​​are also used, such as Spanish, the girl from the award-winning film "Deep Throat", the stupid, the Bocallenés British Navy) and Andorran, the latter since 1985, following the peaceful coup of La Mula Francis.

The Tuvali is a difficult language to pronounce for foreigners, because it comes from a long dyslexic tradition and is rarely regulated. In its cultured version, the Latin alphabet is used, at least so far this century. But in his popular doug version he has so many spelling mistakes that it is difficult to know the meaning of what is written, nevertheless they continue to write it as if they understood it.

In the spoken language there would also be many problems of not being because they are usually accompanied by the sentences in vulgar tuvalí with ostentatious gestures and onomatopoeias, with which the speech happens to a second place, and in fact it gives a little like what the interlocutor is saying Really.

Special case is those affected by dyslexia. Since the Tuvalu language itself is part of a long tradition of dyslexia, the dyslexics who speak Tuvalí deform in such a way the already deformed words of the language that would be said to speak in normal Spanish. It is not uncommon for dyslexics to work as simultaneous translators for Spanish speakers.

In documents of some importance, just to fuck, the Tuvalis use a very old alphabet but totally incomprehensible to the profane called the old Tuvalu alphabet or voynichés. In fact there are those who doubt that the Tuvalis can read it and let's not write it. This alphabet is named after an ancient manuscript, which has not yet been deciphered and circulates among the learned circles of the entire planet: the Voynich Manuscript. In fact this text seems to be a travelogue of a Tuvalu sailor on his travels around the world, but he had such a poor handwriting that he did not know what he had written, an otherwise very common problem with the dyslexic Tuvalo language. The only word that has been deciphered is precisely Voynich, surname of the sailor, on the other hand quite common in Tuvalu.

Voynichés is currently only used in a ritual manner, in very important documents. Since the sixteenth century a law has been in force prohibiting its use to foreigners or to people "equ in ase ed r'fia" (untrue). Unfortunately the Tuvalis are very distrustful, reason why this policy has had the nefarious consequence of supposing in practice that is not taught to nobody. According to data published by Unesco in 2005, it seems that today only two or three people in the world know the secrets of this alphabet, including the late Uncle1.jpg, former President of the Kingdom, and his successor, Uncle2.jpg. As a curiosity, it should be noted that Uncle2.jpg, now Tuvalu Ulterior, wrote a long document in voynichés in which he explains the circumstances of the death of his predecessor in all detail, but nobody has been able to decipher it, so The death of Uncle1.jpg remains an unresolved mystery.

Economy.
British and German tourism is the main economic means of the country, covering 97% of GDP, not by consumption but by male exploitation (far from degrading), becoming the main wealth of cultivation. The sectors that follow are the weak industry with 2.99% of GDP and agriculture employs only 0.01% of the population.

According to official cosmonautical studies, it is ensured that the export index of such a desirable product to European countries and the U.S.A. Increases by 73.23464% (from two thousand vacuum containers to 70 thousand trillion approximately) in Valentine's week, gay festival in New York and every anniversary of PlayGirl. At the end of the year this lost island is visited by 300 men from the Arabian Imserso, who supply the remaining 2% of GDP alone.

In 1998 it was placed as the 6th world power, and the 4th one of Oceamía, surpassing in 8 points France and China. After the Andorran colonization, the few cultivable fields became tobacco and cauliflower fields, so important in the insular region that appears on the shield itself

Tuvalu Later, being one of the world powers, it belongs to the European Union of suburban, due to the high GDP per Capita, 89,034 Conchetumares (6.4 €) per person per year.

Farming
The main foods are green corn, lettuce without salt, red asparagus and vetiver devil. The climatic conditions do not make it possible to cultivate anything in a healthy way, that's why people are stupid, food makes them bad.

Cattle Raising
The porcine species is the most used to make the famous pickled pork. Cats are also raised.

Turism
There is a lot of tourism in Tuvalu Ulterior, its beaches are very visited, the bad thing is that this terrible condition does not allow them to last five minutes. Recommendation: Never visit it.

Culture.
Due to its old history, Tuvalu Ulterior is a country with traditions very anchored in the past, like the shot of old woman, sport very tanned in the steppes of the Northwest coast. In the southern part of the island, the people, of peaceful character, are dedicated to beating tourists every summer (another benefit offered by the main product of the country). One of the most widespread traditions, for which Tuvalu is the country it is today, is the collection of cauliflower, a unique variety in the world, called Clolifolr Tlubalí. Apart from collecting cauliflower, the Tuvalos rape goats on the first, second and 19th Sundays of each month, a tradition imported from the French in 1600, when they came to the island more exited than the peak of an iron.

Sports
Since Uncle0.bmp banned sports throughout the national territory to promote obesity and sedentary lifestyle, a rich illegal underground network has been developed dedicated to the practice of ancient disciplines such as the Fuchila Kunk, the old shot, the fulbox Soccer and boxing), underwater skiing, catches the goose and other lesser known sports.

Relations
Allies

After the World War 2, Tuvalu can't have allies. Only can enter in sexiests organizations.

Commercial Treaties Support Pact
 * Welarka
 * Republic of Osaka
 * Uguresya
 * Petamarken
 * N/A