User blog:AenMaps/Ceplio (2020)

Main Cast: Ceplio (Brad Pitt) (Protagonist), Sapphire (Matt Damon) (Ally, Antagonist), Khanos (Danny Devito) (Mentor, Ally), Tape (Lucy Liu) (Love Interest), Platine (Michael Peña)

Act One: Ceplio is deeply pessimistic. All he thinks about is how depressing this world is and how nothing can stop its downward descent into hell. He’s browsing Facebook when he sees a group about raiding Area 51. Kinda funny, so he joins it. There’s a local meet-up to start planning - he goes there. A mysterious figure can be seen in the background. The meeting is pretty boring, and after he leaves a weird short man calls him over. He calls himself Khanos and he tells Ceplio that there is a powerful artefact in Area 51 and they need to get it. Ceplio doesn’t believe it at first, until Khanos reveals some personal information about Ceplio that no-one would know - Ceplio’s love for interior design.

Act Two: Ceplio and Khanos move out in a pickup truck, and they start talking about life. They decide to stop for snacks in Alabama, where they meet another pair - Sapphire and Tape. They’re good friends and they’re also heading towards Area 51. Khanos doesn’t trust Sapphire, but Ceplio does, so they all get in the pickup truck together and head towards the military base. When they stop again for supplies, they meet another gang headed for Area 51, led by a hispanic guy called Platine. Platine recognises Khanos and his thugs start dragging them out of their truck. They then set the truck on fire. Ceplio fails to stop them, and Platine tells Khanos that he’ll get revenge and he won’t let them get to the burrito. After they leave, Khanos confesses to Ceplio that Platine was originally Khanos’ partner, but ultimately Khanos decided Platine was the same as other humans and wasn’t ready for that kind of power. Ceplio is depressed, thinks he’s nothing, Tape tries to cheer him up and they bond a little. Then they steal a car and Platine sends some dude to mess up their tires, and Tape and Ceplio beat him up. Then they get to Nevada and Platine kidnaps Tape. They go to find Tape and Tape is bound up, surrounded by Platine’s gang. Platine is tired of letting them go so he wants to get rid of them once and for all. Then Sapphire tells Ceplio he’s sorry and walks over to Platine’s side. He was working with Platine all this time. That’s how they knew where they were. Platine and most of his gang go to Area 51, while Sapphire and a few others stay to hold them off. Khanos knocks one guy out and unties Tape, while Sapphire and Ceplio fight. Sapphire is about to knock out Ceplio when Khanos tackles Sapphire and Sapphire pushes Khanos off a cliff, presumably dead. Tape then knees Sapphire in the balls and they run away.

Act Three: Ceplio and Tape are determined as ever to get to the fabled artifact before Platine, so they join the crowd and then the raid begins. While security is distracted by Tape, Ceplio sneaks past into the room with the artifact (a burrito) at the same time as Platine and his gang. they race for the burrito but Sapphire gets it just in time. Platine asks for the burrito and Sapphire says no. Sapphire starts a mutiny as half of Platine's crew draws their guns on the other half, and then a shootout starts. Ceplio sneaks up behind Platine and snaps his neck, and nearly everyone is dead apart from one of Platine's crew who gets shot in the head by Sapphire. Sapphire points his gun at Ceplio and when he's about to shoot, Tape points a gun at Sapphire's head. Sapphire puts the gun down and slides it across to Tape, and then tackles Ceplio. Tape can't get a clear shot, and Sapphire has Ceplio pinned down, until Khanos comes back, naked and covered in leaves, and shoots Sapphire in the chest. Sapphire takes Tape and puts a gun to Tape's head, so Ceplio tackles them just in time and stabs Sapphire and he bleeds out in Ceplio's arms. Khanos, Ceplio, and Tape all huddle together and Ceplio takes a bite out of the burrito, sending them all back to 1930.

Post Credits Scene One: A scientist in the 1920s is working in a lab and creates a large sentient rat, labelled "The Rat".

Post Credits Scene Two: Ceplio is looking at the White House in 1930, smoking a cigar, and then smiles.